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Friday Philosophy – How I Took The Step Up from Thought Leader to Paradigm Architect.

I’m sure you have come across the term “Thought Leader” before. You probably first came across it recently, in the last couple of years, and it is growing in occurrence. I’m always impressed by someone who describes themselves as a Thought Leader, I think it tells you a lot about the qualities of the person (*). At times I feel that I am also a Thought Leader – However, I recently decided to set myself the higher ambition of expanding my vision and becoming a Paradigm Architect. And I think I can tell you how you can do the same and also become a Paradigm Architect.

Friday Philosophy – Is a “Free Lunch” Only Ever a Mirage? Look Closer!

Nearly all of us have heard (or even used) the phrase “There is no such thing as a free lunch” and we know what it means – if something of value is provided for no up-front cost, you are paying for it in some other way. According to the Wikipedia entry for it the phrase could have originated from US bars that offered a free meal with a drink, but the meal was salty and so made you want to drink more. Now you know why some up-market bars offer free salty nibbles, it’s so they can sell you more beer and the extra profit is more than peanuts.

Friday Philosophy – When Tech Fails to Deliver, is it Always a Problem?

I nipped out to the local supermarket this lunch time to get stuff. I use one of those self-use barcode scanners to log all the goods I put in my basket (apart from the bottle of whisky I was stealing). I then go to the payment machine, scan the “finish shopping” barcode and try to pay. I can’t pay.

Friday Philosophy – Hello….?Dave?

In 2 days time the UKOUG Tech16 conference starts. I love this conference, I’ve been to all but 1 one of them in the last 15 years – but I am not going to go on about why I like it so much again.

Why oh Why Do We Still Not Have a Fast Bulk “SQL*Unloader” Facility?

Way back in 2004 I was working at the UK side of the Human Genome project. We were creating a massive store of DNA sequences in an Oracle database (this was one of two world-wide available stores of this information, for free & open use by anyone {* see note!}). The database was, for back then, enormous at 5-6TB. And we knew it would approx double every 12 months (and it did, it was 28TB when I had to migrate it to Oracle 10 in 2006, over 40TB 6 months later and grew to half a petabyte before it was moved to another organisation). And were contemplating storing similar massive volumes in Oracle – Protein, RNA and other sequence stores, huge numbers of cytological images (sorry, microscope slides).

Friday Philosophy – 3rd Normal Form, 3rd Normal People

I was at a wedding a few months ago and one of the guests was wearing a pair of bear ears (I think – they might have been raccoon ears, they were not exactly anatomically correct). What made it a little unusual was that the guest was an adult and something like 2 meters tall (6’4″ in real units). So they were rather noticeable. But that was it. No tail, no strange mannerisms, just being there and chatting to people, wearing ears.

Friday Philosophy – Your Experience can Keep You Ignorant

This week I was in an excellent presentation by Kerry Osborne about Outlines, SQL profiles, SQL patches and SQL Baselines. I’ve used three of those features in anger but when I looked at SQL Patches I just could not understand why you would use them – they looked to me like a very limited version of SQL Profiles.

Pint with Oracle User Group – First International POUG (Polish) Conference

Nice Social Media Profile Picture! Oh… Err…

A few (months/weeks/days/hours)* ago I saw a friend request on Facebook. I looked at their profile which indicated that they were kind-of in my technical arena and the profile picture made me think “Wow – that’s an attractive person!” and I was about to click on the accept button.

And stopped.

I only friend people on Facebook who I know. By that I mean I have either met in real life and liked or have had a LOT of contact with through social media and liked. People who, if they were delayed at Stansted airport at midnight and needed a place to sleep, I’d be happy to go pick them up and bring them home to stay in my spare room.

Friday Philosophy: Be A Hero – OR Be The Best

There is a crisis! The database is not responding, the apps can’t work and the business is suffering. Management are doing what management are there for – panicking and demanding “Someone Do Something!!!”.

Step forward a DBA who logs into the server, checks the alert logs, spots what is wrong and fixes it. The database starts processing requests, the applications are all working fine and the business is back on track. What a hero!