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Friday Philosophy – When Things Feel Wrong

I got pinged by someone else missing the Friday Philosophy today {BTW, Good news, the technical blogs start again on Monday}, so…

Take a look at the below. It is a rather pleasant spot of countryside on Sao Migel in the Azores, where the area in the foreground has been converted into a bit of a garden to take advantage of the natural beauty.

Friday Philosophy – Should I Be a Twit?

Something I have been pondering for a while now is should I join in with the “happening crowd” and sign up to Twitter? I know, I’m two or three years behind the times on this, but more and more people who I like have signed up – even Doug Burns now uses twitter and he used to be negative about it in the same way as I. I’ve asked a few of these friends what they think.

Friday Philosophy – The One Absolute Requirement for System Success

Alternative title “The lady from Patient Admin – she says YEEESSSS!!!!!!”

What must you always achieve for an IT system to be a success?

  • Bug free? Never happens.
  • Within budget/time frame? That would be nice.
  • Includes critical business functionality? Please define critical.
  • Secure? Well, it’s important for many systems but then it is often lacking (even when it is important).
  • That it is to specification? Well we all know that’s wrong.

There is only one thing that an IT system must always achieve to be a success.

User Acceptance.

For an individual system other considerations may well be very important, but the user acceptance is, I think, non-negotiable.

Friday Philosophy – Human Tuning Issues

Oracle Tuning is all about technical stuff. It’s perhaps the most detail-focused and technical aspect of Oracle Administration there is. Explain Plans, Statistics, the CBO, database design, Physical implementation, the impact of initialisation variables, subquery factoring, sql profiles, pipeline functions,… To really get to grips with things you need to do some work with 10046 and 10053 traces, block dumps, looking at latching and queueing…

But I realised a good few years ago that there is another, very important aspect and one that is very often overlooked. People and their perception. The longer I am on an individual site, the more significant the People side of my role is likely to become.

Here is a little story for you. You’ll probably recognise it, it’s one that has been told (in many guises) before, by several people – it’s almost an IT Urban Myth.

When I was but a youth, not long out of college, I got a job with Oracle UK (who had a nice, blue logo back then) as a developer on a complex and large hospital system. We used Pyramid hardware if I remember correctly. When the servers were put in place, only half the memory boards and half the CPU boards were initiated. We went live with the system like that. Six months later, the users had seen the system was running quite a bit slower than before and started complaining. An engineer came in and initiated those other CPU boards and Memory boards. Things went faster and all the users were happy. OK, they did not throw a party but they stopped complaining. Some even smiled.

I told you that you would recognise the story. Of course, I’m now going to go on about the dishonest vendor and what was paid for this outrageous “tuning work”. But I’m not. This hobbling of the new system was done on purpose and it was done at the request of “us”, the application developers. Not the hardware supplier. It was done because some smart chap knew that as more people used the system and more parts of it were rolled out, things would slow down and people would complain. So some hardware was held in reserve so that the whole system could have a performance boost once workload had ramped up and people would be happy. Of course, the system was now only as fast as if it had been using all the hardware from day one – but the key difference was that rather than having unhappy users as things “were slower than 6 months ago”, everything was performing faster than it had done just a week or two ago, and users were happy due to the recent improvement in response time. Same end point from a performance perspective, much happy end point for the users.

Another aspect of this Human side of Tuning is unstable performance. People get really unhappy about varying response times. You get this sometimes with Parallel Query when you allow Oracle to reduce the number of parallel threads used depending on the workload on the server {there are other causes of the phenomena such as clashes with when stats are gathered or just random variation in data volumes}. So sometimes a report comes back in 30 minutes, sometimes it comes back in 2 hours. If you go from many parallel threads to single threaded execution it might be 4 hours. That really upsets people. In this situation you probably need to look at if you can fix the degree of parallelism that gives a response time that is good enough for business reasons and can always be achieved. OK, you might be able to get that report out quicker 2 days out of 5, but you won’t have a user who is happy on 3 days and ecstatic with joy on the 2 days the report is early. You will have a user who is really annoyed 3 days and grumbling about “what about yesterday!” on the other 2 days.

Of course this applies to screens as well. If humans are going to be using what I am tuning and would be aware of changes in performance (ie the total run time is above about 0.2 seconds) I try to aim for stable and good performance, not “outright fastest but might vary” performance. Because we are all basically grumpy creatures. We accept what we think cannot be changed but if we see something could be better, we want it!

People are happiest with consistency. So long as performance is good enough to satisfy the business requirements, generally speaking you just want to strive to maintain that level of performance. {There is one strong counter-argument in that ALL work on the system takes resource, so reducing a very common query or update by 75% frees up general resource to aid the whole system}.

One other aspect of Human Tuning I’ll mention is one that UI developers tend to be very attuned to. Users want to see something happening. Like a little icon or a message saying “processing” followed soon by another saying “verifying” or something like that. It does not matter what the messages are {though spinning hour glasses are no longer acceptable}, they just like to see that stuff is happening. So, if a screen can’t be made to come back in less than a small number of seconds, stick up a message or two as it progresses. Better still, give them some information up front whilst the system scrapes the rest together. It won’t be faster, it might even be slower over all, but if the users are happier, that is fine. Of course, Oracle CBO implements this sort of idea when you specify “first_n_rows” as the optimizer goal as opposed to “all_rows”. You want to get some data onto an interactive screen as soon as possible, for the users to look at, rather than aim for the fastest overall response time.

After all, the defining criteria of IT system success is that the users “are happy” -ie accept the system.

This has an interesting impact on my technical work as a tuning “expert”. I might not tune up a troublesome report or SQL statement as much as I possibly can. I had a recent example of this where I had to make some batch work run faster. I identified 3 or 4 things I could try and using 2 of them I got it to comfortably run in the window it had to run in {I’m being slightly inaccurate, it was now not the slowest step and upper management focused elsewhere}. There was a third step I was pretty sure would also help. It would have taken a little more testing and implementing and it was not needed right now. I documented it and let the client know about it, that there was more that could be got. But hold it in reserve because you have other things to do and, heck, it’s fast enough. {I should make it clear that the system as a whole was not stressed at all, so we did not need to reduce system load to aid all other things running}. In six months the step in the batch might not be fast enough or, more significantly, might once more be the slowest step and the target for a random management demand for improvement – in which case take the time to test and implement item 3. (For those curious people, it was to replace a single merge statement with an insert and an update, both of which could use different indexes).

I said it earlier. Often you do not want absolute performance. You want good-enough, stable performance. That makes people happy.

Friday Philosophy – Dyslexia Defence League

NB This post has nothing to do with Oracle or even technology really. It’s just some thoughts about one aspect of my life.

I know I’ve mentioned this once before, though it was in an early blog post when I had a readership of about 8, but I am mildly dyslexic. If you want to know how I found out I was dyslexic then check out the original post. I’m quite fond of that post, as a non-technical one, though almost no one read it.

The thing is, I now cringe slightly when I say I am Dyslexic. I’ve sat on this post for weeks, wondering if I should post it. You see, it seems to me that dyslexia, along with some other oddities of perception, have over the last few years almost become a thing to be proud of. A banner to wave to show how great you are. “Hey, look at me, I am this good even though I have Dyslexia” or even “I am great because I have dyslexia”. Maybe I am just a little sensitive about it but it seems to me that more and more people make a thing about it. If I am being candid, I feel a little proud that I did OK academically despite it {I should point out there is no proven link between dyslexia and IQ but in exams you get marked down for spelling and slow reading speed means it takes longer to, well, read stuff!} and in the past I have been very open about mentioning it. Hey, this is my second blog on dyslexia!

However, I’ve had it suggested to me in the past that I use it as a defense for being lazy – Can I prove I am dyslexic? Does it really impact me that much? Well, actually no I cannot prove it and has it impacted me? Not a great deal I guess as I can read pretty much anything {I did say it was mild. Scientific papers and anything with very long words can be a challenge, but isn’t that true of everyone?}. My reading speed is about 120,150 words a minute. Average is about 250wpm. My wife seems to read at about 500wpm :-)

Also, don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate that looking at a challenge you have and taking the benefits from it that you can is a very healthy attitude. If I remember right it was Oliver Sacks in one of his books (“the man who mistook his wife for a hat” maybe) who describes a man with sever Tourette’s syndrome {which is more often all about physical ticks and uncontrolled motions rather than the famous “swearing” aspect of it} who could somehow take advantage of his physical manifestations in his jazz drumming. He could just make it flow for him. But when he took treatment to control the physical issues, his jazz drumming suffered. He really wanted the benefit of the drugs for day-to-day life but keep the Tourettes for jazz. So he took the drugs during the week and came off just before the weekends when he played. Neat.

Does Dyslexia help me? I think I am more of a diagrams and pictures person than a text person because of my dyslexia and I think I maybe look at things a little differently to most people at times – because of the differences in how I perceive. That can help me see things that maybe others have missed? Maybe an advantage. I’ll take that.

Also, in my case at least, dyslexia is not an issue for me comprehending or constructing written prose. I think I write some good stuff at times.

But I don’t want to be dyslexic. Frankly, it p122es me off.

I’ll give you an example. I did a blog post a few weeks back and it had some script examples in it. I had nearly finished it when I realised I had constantly spelt one word utterly wrong. The spell checker picked it up. But just before I posted it, I realised I had also got my column aliases utterly wrong. I have a little set of rules for generating table and column aliases, it is not complex, but in my head the leading letters of a word are not always, well, the leading letters. I had to alter my scripts and then re-run them all as I knew if I tried to unpick the spelling mistakes manually I would mess it up, I’ve been there before. It took me hours. I can really do without wasting that time. {Update, since originally drafting this post the same situation with another technical post has occurred}. Then there is the embarrassment of doing something like spelling the name of a column wrong when you design and build a database. I did that in a V8 database when renaming columns was still not a simple task {was it really Oracle 9 release 2 before column rename was introduced?}. The database went live and accrued a lot of data before anyone made an issue of it. It then kept getting mentioned and I had to keep explaining.

I don’t see Dyslexia as a badge of honour and every time I see someone being proud of it (or to my odd mind it seems they are proud of it) or suggesting they are better than average for overcoming it (again, maybe it is just my perception), I just feel uncomfortable. I think all and everyone of us has something we have had to overcome to be “normal”.

Yet, on reading that above paragraph back, it is simply insulting to people who have fought and striven to overcome severe dyslexia or other issues with perception or communication. I certainly do not mean that (and I apologise unreservedly to anyone who is now fuming at me because of my callousness).

Maybe that is my issue with the whole topic – I am not uncomfortable with the notion of being proud to have overcome something like dyslexia and I admire people who cope with other conditions which make it harder for them to get by in our culture, but I just can’t see why you would be proud of the condition or want to use it as a bragging right.

I guess I want to be able to just acknowledge my dyslexia, point out it is no big deal in my case but it is why I spell like a 10 year old. It is as significant as the fact I’m scared of heights. I guess I cringe a little when I say it as I don’t want to be seen to be making excuses and I certainly do not feel, that in my case at least. I have won through against the odds. Maybe I’ve been a little hard-done-by occasionally but haven’t we all?

Friday Philosophy – Picture Theft!!!

Last week’s Friday Philosophy was a bit of a moan about how hard I find it to make nice graphics, how long it takes and no one seems to care that much about the results.

Well, after those two days effort on the pictures and the afore mentioned moan, irony of irony, someone has stolen one of my graphics!. So someone likes my efforts ;-) . It is the one that represents how you scan down the levels of an index and then link across to the table via the rowid.

Before I go any further I better make it clear that I am not really upset about it at all :-) . In fact, since the scoundrel included a link back to my web page and they are considerably better known than I, my little blog has had a big up-swing in traffic as a result, which is nice. Mind you, as the person who borrowed my diagram is SQL Server expert Steve Jones, of SQLSeverCentral/Redgate fame, most of my new audience are probably pretty focused on the SQL Server RDBMS and not Oracle, so unlikely to make many return visits unless they are work across the RDBMS boundaries.

What also gives me a little smile is that I have stumbled over the fact that I myself, back in November 2009, was looking for such a diagram {of the way Oracle steps down the index to the leaf blocks, gets the rowid and then straight to the table row} to ‘borrow’ for a post of my own on BLevel and heights of indexes. I even confessed at the time to looking for and failing to find one to use…

Humour aside, it set me to thinking though. Borrowing content is a perennial and thorny issue.

Occasionally someone will start putting content out on their blog or web site and it turns out that much of that content is directly obtained from other peoples’ blogs and websites – copy&pasted straight in or with little changes. That is generally seen by the original author as unacceptable and once they find out they object. In such cases it sometimes seems the culprit is unaware of this being a transgression and, once it is explained that they have effectively stolen many hours or days of someone’s efforts, they remove the material. Others seem aware this is theft but do not care until caught. Occasionally the culprit sees no error in their ways at all, even when challenged, as the material had been put “out there” so they now consider it free to all. I certainly do not agree. Perhaps the worst thing you see though is people including parts of published books, or even putting the whole book out there for download. Such people should of course have their hands stapled to their backsides in punishment, that is simple theft. Writing blogs takes a long time and effort, writing technical books takes forever and monumental effort. I know from friends that the financial return for such efforts is pitiful enough as it is.

On the other side of the coin, many of us put our stuff out there on the web to be read and used and are very happy for it to spread, to be borrowed from and disseminated. Like nearly all DBAs and developers, over the years I have written lots of little SQL scripts to pull information out of the data dictionary or do little database management tasks. I happily give away copies of these to anyone who wants them (and you can get them off my web site if you like, but just pretend it is not my website, as it is truly awful). All I ever ask is that whoever takes them leaves my name in them.

I think that is core to the issue. I suspect many of us bloggers are happy for small parts of our output to be borrowed so long as credit is given. I certainly am {but please note, this is my personal opinion – other bloggers may object very strongly and any repercussions on you in respect of taking material from other blogs and web sites is your concern}. However, Volume is also part of it. The larger the chunk you borrow, the more acknowledgement I would need to be happy about it. Borrowing a single diagram or a paragraph out of a page of text is OK, given I am cited for it. Taking most of a post would probably not, unless you asked first, were really nice about it and about me. Nicking a set of course notes I wrote is certainly unacceptable, no matter how much you put “originally written by that wonderful Martin Widlake” on it.

So, I think you need to cite the source as “payment” for using it. Perhaps the best way to do it is by simply linking to the material rather than putting it on your blog/website, but that does not work if you need the content within yours to make sense. In which case, I think Steve Jones’ approach of putting the content in his and including a link is reasonable. It might have been nice if there was a comment saying where the image came from but I can live without it. Despite my joking about it giving me more hits to my blog, it does not matter that his is a popular web site and gives me more hits. Even if a site gets no traffic, if someone has borrowed a small part of my output but cited me as the source, I’m cool with that.

The problem though is judging what is a “small” part to borrow and what is acceptable to the original author. We all perceive such things differently. So the safest thing is to ask the original author. If I want to use an idea that came from someone else in one of my blogs or a solution they came up with, I always ask and I ask if they want to be cited. This includes discussions in email or in the pub. I ask. If when preparing my blogs I learn a lot from someone else’s blog, I stick in a link and a comment, even though I will have written my own text. I hope that so far I have not upset anyone when I borrow a little.

Photos are a different issue though. I am not going to even attempt to cover that one!

Snowdon viewed from Yr Aran

If you Really Can’t Solve a “Simple” Problem..

Sometimes it can be very hard to solve what looks like a simple problem. Here I am going to cover a method that I almost guarantee will help you in such situations.

I recently had a performance issue with an Oracle database that had just gone live. This database is designed to scale to a few billion rows in two key tables, plus some “small” lookup tables of a few dozen to a couple of million rows. Designing a system of this scale with theory only is very dangerous, you need to test at something like the expected volumes. I was lucky, I was on a project where they were willing to put the effort and resource in and we did indeed create a test system with a few billion rows. Data structure and patterns were created to match the expected system, code was tested and we found issues. Root causes were identified, the code was altered and tested, fine work was done. Pleasingly soon the test system worked to SLAs and confidence was high. We had done this all the right way.

We went live. We ramped up the system to a million records. Performance was awful. Eyes swung my way… This was going to be easy, it would be the statistics, the database was 2 days old and I’d warned the client we would need to manage the object statistics. Stats were gathered.
The problem remained. Ohhh dear, that was not expected. Eyes stayed fixed upon me.

I looked at the plan and I quickly spotted what I knew was the problem. The below code is from the test system and line 15 is the key one, it is an index range scan on the primary key, within a nested loop:

   9 |          NESTED LOOPS                       |                           |     1 |   139 |    37   (3)| 00:00:01 |
* 10 |           HASH JOIN SEMI                    |                           |     1 |    50 |    11  (10)| 00:00:01 |
* 11 |            TABLE ACCESS BY INDEX ROWID      | PARTY_ABCDEFGHIJ          |     3 |   144 |     4   (0)| 00:00
* 12 |             INDEX RANGE SCAN                | PA_PK                     |     3 |       |     3   (0)| 00:00:01 |
  13 |            COLLECTION ITERATOR PICKLER FETCH|                           |       |       |            |          |
  14 |           PARTITION RANGE ITERATOR          |                           |    77 |  6853 |    26   (0)| 00:00:01 |
* 15 |            INDEX RANGE SCAN                 | EVEN_PK                   |    77 |  6853 |    26   (0)| 00:00:01 |

On the live system we had an index fast full scan (To be clear, the below is from when I had tried a few things already to fix the problem, but that index_fast_full_scan was the thing I was trying to avoid. Oh and, yes, the index has a different name).

|   9 |          NESTED LOOPS                 |                           |     1 |   125 |  1828   (3)| 00:00:16 |
|  10 |           NESTED LOOPS                |                           |     1 |    63 |     2   (0)| 00:00:01 |
|* 11 |            TABLE ACCESS BY INDEX ROWID| PARTY_ABCDEFGHIJ          |     1 |    45 |     2   (0)| 00:00:01 |
|* 12 |             INDEX UNIQUE SCAN         | PA_PK                     |     1 |       |     1   (0)| 00:00:01 |
|* 13 |            INDEX UNIQUE SCAN          | AGR_PK                    |     1 |    18 |     0   (0)| 00:00:01 |
|  14 |           PARTITION RANGE ITERATOR    |                           |     1 |    62 |  1826   (3)| 00:00:16 |
|* 15 |            INDEX FAST FULL SCAN       | EVE_PK                    |     1 |    62 |  1826   (3)| 00:00:16 |

Now I knew that Oracle would maybe pick that plan if it could get the data it wanted from the index and it felt that the cost was lower than doing multiple range scans. Many reasons could lead to that and I could fix them. This would not take long.

But I could not force the step I wanted. I could not get a set of hints that would force it. I could not get the stats gathered in a way that forced the nested loop range scan. I managed to alter the plan in many ways, fix the order of tables, the types of joins, but kept getting to the point where the access was via the index fast full scan but not by range scan. I thought I had it cracked when I came across a hint I had not known about before, namely the INDEX_RS_ASC {and INDEX_RS_DESC} hint to state do an ascending range scan. Nope, no joy.

By now, 8 hours had passed trying several things and we had a few other people looking at the problem, including Oracle Corp. Oracle Corp came up with a good idea – if the code on test runs fine, copy the stats over. Not as simple as it should be as the test system was not quite as-live but we did that. You guessed, it did not work.

So what now? I knew it was a simple problem but I could not fix it. So I tried a technique I knew had worked before. I’d long passed the point where I was concerned about my pride – I emailed friends and contacts and begged help.

Now, that is not the method of solving problems I am writing about – but it is a damned fine method and I have used it several times. I highly recommend it but only after you have put a lot of effort into doing your own work, if you are willing to give proper details of what you are trying to do – and, utterly crucially, if you are willing to put yourself out and help those you just asked for help on another day.

So, what is the silver bullet method? Well, it is what the person who mailed me back did and which I try to do myself – but struggle with.

Ask yourself, what are the most basic and fundamental things that could be wrong. What is so obvious you completely missed it? You’ve tried complex, you’ve been at this for ages, you are missing something. Sometimes it is that you are on the wrong system or you are changing code that is not the code being executed {I’ve done that a few times over the last 20 years}.

In this case, it was this:

Here is my primary key:


Except, here is what it is on Live


Ignore the difference in name, that was an artifact of the test environment creation, the key thing is the primary key has a different column order. The DBAs had implemented the table wrong {I’m not blaming them, sometimes stuff just happens OK?}.
Now, it did not alter logical functionality as the Primary Key is on the same columns, but as the access to the table is on only the “leading” three columns of the primary key, if the columns are indexed in the wrong order then Oracle cannot access the index via range scans on those values! Unit testing on the obligatory 6 records had worked fine, but any volume of data revealed the issue.

I could not force my access plan as it was not possible – I had missed the screaming obvious.

So, next time you just “know” you should be able to get your database (or code, or whatever) to do something and it won’t do it, go have a cup of tea, think about your last holiday for 5 minutes and then go back to the desk and ask yourself – did I check that the most fundamental and obvious things are correct.

That is what I think is the key to solving what look like simple problems where you just can’t work it out. Try and think even simpler.

Where is Sun?

First of all, may I wish everyone who comes by my blog a heartfelt Happy New Year.
Secondly, I promise I’ll blog more often and more on technical aspects this year than I have for most of 2010.
Thirdly, I’ll admit the title to this blog is nothing to do with the hardware company now owned by Mr Larry Ellison, but is about the huge glowing ball of fire in the sky (which we have not seen a lot of here in England and Wales for the last couple of weeks – not sure about Scotland but I suspect it has been the same). I apologise for the blatantly misleading (and syntactically poor) title.

A quick question for you – It is the depths of winter for most of us, and it has been unusually cold here in the UK and much of Europe. When are we, as a planet, furthest from the Sun during winter? January the 1st? The Shortest day (21st December)? The day the evening start drawing out (December 14th)?
I think many in the Northern Hemisphere will be surprised to learn that we are closest to the sun today (3rd Jan 2011). A mere 147.104 million kilometers from the centre of our solar system. I mentioned this to a few friends and they were all taken aback, thinking we would be furthest from the warmth of the sun at the depths of our winter.

Come the 4th July 2011 it is not only some strange celebration in the US about having made the terrible decision to go it alone in the world {Joke guys!}, but is the day in the year that the Earth is furthest from the sun – 152.097 million kilometers. That is about 3.39% further away and, as the energy we receive from the sun is equal to the square of the distance, does account for a bit of a drop in the energy received. {Surface of a sphere is 4*pi*(R{adius}squared), you can think of the energy from the sun as being spread over the sphere at any given distance}.

Some of you may be wondering why this furthest/closest to the sun does not match the longest/shortest day. As some of you may remember, I explained about the oddities of the shortest day not matching when the nights start drawing out about this time last year. It is because as we spin around our own pole and around the sun, things are complicated by the fact that the earth “leans over” in it’s orbit.

Check out this nice web site where you can state the location and month you want to see sunrise, sunset, day length and (of particular relevance here) the distance from the sun for each day.

I find it interesting that many of the things us most of us see as “common sense” are often not actually right (I always assumed that the shortest day coincided with both the evenings starting to draw out and mornings getting earlier until I stumbled across it when looking at sunset times – I had to go find a nice Astronomer friend to explain it all to me). I also like the fact that a very simple system – a regularly spinning ball circling a large big “fixed point” in a fixed way – throws up some oddities due to little extra considerations that often go overlooked. Isn’t that so like IT?

That lean in the Earth’s angle of spin compared to the plane we revolve around the sun is slowly rotating too, so in a few years (long, long, long after any of us will be around to care) then the furthest point in the orbit will indeed match the northern hemisphere winter. Again like IT, even the oddities keep shifting.

Friday Philosophy – Run Over by a Bus

I chaired a session at the UKOUG this week by Daniel Fink, titled “Stop Chasing your tail: Using a Disciplined Approach to Problem Diagnosis”. It was a very good talk, about having a process, an approach to solving your IT problems and that it should be a process that suits you and your system. All good stuff and I utterly agree with what he said.

But it was a passing comment Daniel made that really set me thinking. It was something like:

You should be considering how people will look after the system after you have gone, the classic ‘what will we do if you are hit by a bus’….. No, I don’t like thinking like that, that phrase… I prefer ‘after you win the lottery and retire to a great life’.

It just struck a chord with me. Mr Fink’s {and I do go all formal when I intend respect} take on this is a far more positive way of looking at the situation of leaving the system in a state that others can look after once you are no longer able to help. The “Bus” phrase is very, very common, at least in the UK and I suspect in the US, and it is a very negative connotation. “Make sure it all works as something nasty is going to happen to you, something sudden, like being smeared across the tarmac by 25 tons of Greyhound doing 50mph, something basically fatal so you can’t prepare and you can’t help any more”. So, not just moved on, but dead.

Daniel made me realise that we should be looking at this from totally the other perspective and that doing so is much, much, much better. “Make it work so that they love you, even when you have gone away to a happier situation – one involving no road-based unpleasantness at all”.

Everyone leaves their job eventually and I like to think it is often for more positive reasons. Like retiring, or a better job {better for you, but a real shame for your old company as they like you so much}, moving to a new area, attempting a dream. Yes, sometimes (depressingly often at present) it is because you get made redundant or things go bad with your managers, or HR take over the organisation. But even so, better to leave knowing you did so with your professional duty intact I think. It’s one way of winning in a losing situation.

If turning the “bus” metaphor into a “lottery” metaphor results in the response in your brain of “well, when I do leave rich and happy, I still want to leave a painful mess behind me” – then it may indicate that you better leave where you are working as soon as possible in any case? As it is not a good situation and you are deeply very unhappy about it.

Up until now I have sometimes used a far more gruesome but less fatal phrase for the concept of making sure things continue after you leave and can no longer help, which is “involved in a freak lawnmower accident”. As in, can’t type but not dead. I’m going to stop using it, I’ve decided that even with my macabre sense of humour, it really is not a good way to think about doing your job properly. Daniel, your attitude is better. Thank you.

Oh, if you went along to the conference you can get the latest version of Daniel’s talk slides from the UKOUG web site (try this link), otherwise, he has a copy here – pick “papers and presentations”. It has lots of notes on it explaining what the slides mean (ie, what he actually says), which I think is a very nice thing for him to have spent the time doing.